I HATE THIS SHIT!

I am two seconds from losing my mind. Nothing is my life is goes right. I have no friends, my boyfriend doesn't like spending time with me, I am failing 3 classes and I am completely broke. As I go through all of this no one knows. I keep it to myself because no one really cares. I am in such pain right now I just want to be done. I just want it to be over. I hate being this depressed. But, I see no upside. Everything I set out to do I fail at. I fail at class, friendships and relationships. Why should I even try. It is going to end bad anyway. I hate being this way but nothing is getting better. It's like it gets better for a little while and then it turns back to crap. I can't keep going through this. I just want to go away. Far away from everybody. I am sick and tired of everything and everybody. I just want to be alone. I want everyone to leave so I can be exactly how a feel. I feel completely alone and helpless. So, I just want people to just stop faking it with me. Stop acting like they care when they don't. And stop pretending that they are interested in me when they aren't. Just leave me alone because you aren't making my situation better you are making it worst.

Changes

I feel like I have changed when it comes to our relationship. I have gotten to the point of not caring. It's not in a bad way but a good way. Yes, I will still like to be with him majority of the time, but if we arent I do care. I think my trust for him has grown. But, I am still afraid of us failing. But, I am goin to keep goin. If we don't work out there will be another I know that for sure. Not, to be cocky or anything, but from what has happened in the past there is away another. I never stay single for long so me finding another dude won't be hard lol. Right now, I just want to be with him no one else.